weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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