Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
