Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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