I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
