I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
