i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
