I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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