Duck Duck Cougar?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
