Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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