At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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