Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
