About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize