He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
