Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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