Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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