ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
