I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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