people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
