Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
