weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
