giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
