Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
