I hate all girls vehemently.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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