Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
