i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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