i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
