pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize