the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
