"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
