Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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