so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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