Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
