just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize