I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
