i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
