my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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