So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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