Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
