Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
