You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
