I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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