He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
