It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize