no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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