Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
