guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize