I bet he comes in French.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
