Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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