Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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