WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
