if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
