that's an acceptable place to lick
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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