I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
