Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
