Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
