In the future we'll all be gay
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
