If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize