He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
