how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
