Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
