Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize