I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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