I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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