okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
