Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
